"No. I have however picked up a table and thrown it at someone. Does that count?"
I have decided to invent a new word for how much I can hate someone. I am not sure what it is, but it applies to Urgot.”
Quinn fell out of a tree and landed on me again today. That is the third time this month. I think perhaps in future I will take about 4 steps to the left when I walk home that route. I should also see if I can distract her and assemble a tree house there or something, I worry about the poor girl.”
I suspect Soraka tried to tell me something with her gesture earlier today. I cannot say I am surprised that I have captured her heart, given how wonderful, charming, smart, beautiful, strong, heroic, courageous, handsome, funny, witty, entertaining, pleasant, kind, generous, noble and humble I am. What surprised me is the little butterflies in my stomach that have been bugging me whenever I think of her. And once again, she can probably heal that problem. Although I suspect she won’t be needing magic this time. I shall go see her when I am next free, it is decided.”
Zed tried to scare me today. Or maybe impress me. Not sure. Some trick with knives or shadows or something. About 3 seconds in I noticed a rather fine piece of ass walking past and missed the rest of it. I should probably avoid his part of town for the next few days.”
I heard her playing again today. I listened from afar. I cannot let people know I enjoy things. It is sad I cannot tell her I enjoy her music, and I would like for her to play me something special. Because it would only end badly for her. I wish I were not such bad business to be around in her social circles, but I suspect my backing would only bring her enemies. I guess being important does have its draw backs.”
I tried to tell her again today. She was being so nice I felt I should say something. I wanted to tell her how I felt, I really did. But the words I could muster were insults, jokes, things one uses to taunt or diffuse a situation. I am glad she did not seem to notice how red I was or how much I stuttered.
One day, I will tell her how I feel. I will simply walk up, declare boldly my love for her, then carry her back to my bed and show her my love in its full.
Today is not that day. Neither was 3 days ago when I nearly choked on a sandwich when she made a joke. Or last week when I went to tell her and ended up running away claiming it was an emergency the moment she turned around. Or two weeks ago. When I made a phone call, stuttered a bit and had to hang up. But one day, she will know just how much I care. I hope she already does.”
Blitzcrank told me Riven is good for me, something I already knew. Riven still does not believe me. He looked particularly shiny today, and I am concerned by not complimenting him I may have caused offense, perhaps a new coat of polish is his equivalent of a hair cut. He still continues to prove difficult to bribe into telling every young lady I am their perfect match up. I shall have to see if I can uncover something I can blackmail him with.”
I have decided I do not like Ziggs. He will not be invited to any more of my parties. Because when I said there was not enough cake to go round, blowing it up onto everyone IS NOT acceptable. I think I shall ask him never to come into my home again.”